Beautiful Dreamer
by Deatheater Amelia
Summary: Chapter 2 up! I crept of the stairs quietly, willing my heart to slow down. There laying on the dusty floor was the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. language. snape/lupin
1. Chapter 1

**the first half is snape pov and the second is lupin's pov**

**hope you enjoy!**

**disclaimer: i do not own harry potter**

It was five-thirty in the morning when Potter, Black and Pettigrew finally emerged from the Whomping Willow. I would have jumped for joy if I hadn't been so bloody cold. My arse hurt like hell from sitting in the bushes so long. I listened closely as they walked by, inches from where I was hiding. Black was murmuring something about getting some sleep.

James laughed that annoying laugh of his, flipping his hair, and I felt my stomach cringed. AS if there were any girls outside at 5:30 in the morning. He was so full of himself. "Good thing he finally came down. I need my beauty sleep." he laughed, and I felt my fingers tightened around my wand. It's impossible to hate anyone more than I hate him.

They went inside and I waited a minute before creeping over to the Whomping Willow. The crisp grass crinkled under my feet and I cast a disillusionment charm, just in case. I looked around, breathing in the cold morning air. My heart thumped loudly in my chest, excitement clouded my thoughts. Am I really going to do this? Can I? A familiar tingle passed through my stomach and I dropped into the passage.

The air inside was even colder. The hall was dark, dank and riddled with dust. How could they leave him in this? My heart was beating three times fast now. It had all seemed so much easier when I planned it. Months of spying and now suddenly I had cold feet. I opened each door along the hallway hoping I'd find him. The sooner I found him, the less nervous I'd be. But every room was empty. I chuckled deeply as I opened the last door. Of course it was empty.  
Which meant I'd have to walk all the way upstairs, my palms sweating buckets.

I walked up the stairs silently, wary of squeaking steps. A bead of sweat fell down my face and my knuckles whitened as I clutched, the banister harder. I reached the top and my heart was in my throat. It was beating so hard I was sure my ears would bleed. I took long deep breaths,  
trying to calm myself down. 'I just had to talk to him, just talk' I told myself. It wouldn't be the end of the world if he rejected me, everyone else did. I put my hand on the door knob and started to open it when I realized the charm was still on me. I lifted it and walked in.

I saw him and my heart stopped. He was so beautiful. Remus Lupin lay there sleeping, curled into a little ball on the dusty floor. My stomach fluttered gently. He was naked, the hair was receding now, leaving his frail form open for my view. His skin was milky white, veiled with many scars; he was the most stunning thing I'd ever seen.

I knew at once I had to have him. I needed him, even loved him. I'd tried to convince myself I didn't. This whole year I fed myself excuses. I mean, it was only natural to appreciate him, right? After all he was the only one who defended me from Black and Potter. I didn't "like him", like him.  
At least it started out like that. Soon I found myself looking forward to seeing him. I would purposely start arguments with Potter just to hear him intervene. I found myself staring at him in class: And he would stare back.  
He was the only who smiled at me; who acted like I was there.

My eyes fell past his back to his arse and I felt my cheeks burn. Suddenly I felt horribly embarrassed. I was standing there staring at him naked. It was sorta like seeing him in a public shower. I should look away but I can't. It was strange, I never fancied a boy before, but as I looked at him now, it seemed stupid that I was just now realizing it. I felt myself twitch and I quickly conjured a bed. It was king-sized with a black blanket set and it nearly filled the tiny room. I drew back the covers and picked Remus up.

He grunted softly as I carried him in my arms. His face was pale, his hair dirty with dust.  
I tiptoed toward the bed, catching the smell of his hair. It was marvelous, I found myself snuggling in his hair breathing in deeply. It was the queerest scent; like melon and wood-chips.  
I inhaled again and felt my knees buckle as he snuggled closer to me, his hands touching my chest. His body was warm against mine and I felt an overwhelming wave of affection wash over me, the likes of which I've never felt before.

I looked down at him, he couldn't possibly get any cuter. I laid him on the bed gently, marveling at how close I was to him. I'd never been alone with him before; it was unlike anything I ever imagined (and he hadn't said a word). I accio-ed some of my pajama pants and quickly dress him before covering him with the blanket.

My smile faltered as he sighed deeply at the new warmth surrounding him. I didn't want to leave him. I couldn't. Not after everything.

I shuffled out of my shoes and climbed into bed with him, careful not to disturb him. I lay staring at him, a slight smile graced his face as he slept. Before I could stop myself I kissed his lips softly, a chill traveled down my spine. I laid back down and soon fell asleep.

* * *

Sunlight crept through the windows warming my skin. I slowly stretched out my arms(hey, transforming was hard work) and yawned loudly. Wait a minute, my ass doesn't hurt. I looked around and realized I was in a bed. Wow, nice work. Prongs must have done this. I started to get up, but I heard a soft moan. I turned around to see a boy fully dress laying with me. My heart lept, I knew that long raven black hair. I knew that adorable nose.

I was sleeping with Severus Snape.

**Please tell me if you like it and I should continue.**


	2. awake

**I hope you all enjoy. Thanks for all the reviews**

**disclaimer: i do not own harry potter**

I was sleeping with Severus Snape.

I just lay there, as rays of sunlight fell on both our faces. How did he find me? No one knew about beside Prongs, Padfoot and Peter(a/n I thought it would be funny if he was the only one without a nickname, fucking traitor). What was he doing down here?

Fear gripped me suddenly. I was naked. I pulled back the covers to find a pair of green and silver pajama pants. I glanced at the boy laying next to me. There was no way James gave me pajamas with Slytherin colors. These must be Severus'. Which means he's not here by accident.  
He grunted, softly. He knew. And instead of telling the entire school (like a real Slytherin)  
he brought me clothes and a warm cushy bed.

I laid back down next to him, a smile creeping onto my face. He was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. His long silky raven hair cloaked his face as he slept peacefully and I felt an overwhelming urge to touch him, kiss him. He was like an expensive glass doll I'd never have.

No one knew I liked boys, for a while I didn't know. But Severus, he had me all figured out, just like that. And here he was laying here waiting for me. I brushed his hair from his face felt myself harden. I was so unbelievably attracted to him, it seemed crazy that no one had noticed. I mean, of course, it annoyed the hell out of James and Sirius when I defended him,  
but neither saw how much my cheeks flushed when he was around. Or how I stuttered, or the really long glances we threw each other. Or the ridiculously huge boner I got when we walked in on him changing last week.

I felt my stomach tingle as I pictured him half-naked again. His skin was ghost white and fair.  
He was shirtless, wearing dark blue jeans. Gods, I could have died right there. The other two will never admit this but he was more toned than any of us. Water was falling down his chest, rippling over each muscle. And as James began to tease him it dawned on me: I had a boner.  
And not just a random boner, I actually wanted to do things to him. Crazy things.

It was curious, really. The more I thought about it, the more I want him. I tried to push him out of my mind but I couldn't. I wanted him, needed him. I wished every second that one day I'd catch him alone but every second after that I prayed it would never happen. What if he said 'no'. What if he hated me? Thought I was a freak, even? My stomach churned with doubt.  
I tried to push the thoughts from my mind. He was here in the same bed with me and I was wearing his pajamas. That was not the accurate behavior of a person who hated me.

It was strange, seeing him like this, with out his defenses. Venerable. He grunted softly.  
I frowned, looking out the window at the bright sunlight. Soon it would be time for breakfast and I'd have to wake him.

I inhaled deeply, trying to shake off my nervousness and stroked his cheek. I don't know what was making me so scared. I guess I half-way expected him to hex me like he would James.  
He didn't. Instead he moaned softly and snuggled closer to me. He smelled so good, like chocolate. I smiled; I couldn't have loved him more in that moment.

I draped an arm around him and planted a kiss on his forehead. He wrinkled his forehead. "Mmm"  
he moaned in a voice I didn't recognize. His eyes fluttered open and he woke with a start.  
"Remus." he tried to sit up but I pushed him back down gently. He looked so scared, I'd never see him like this. It was actually kinda cute. "Don't be angry with me?" he begged, in less than a whisper. He sounded more like a child than a seventeen year old. "It was cold and naked so I put you in bed so you'd be warm. But I just couldn't leave you." his voice faltered,  
"You were just so...so."

I put my finger to his lips. They were soft and moist, my heart beat quickly I would burst if I didn't tell him. I had to get it out. "Severus," it came more like a moan. My fingers traveled through his hair and I pulled him closer, losing control. Our lips were inches apart,  
I wanted him so bad. "Severus, ...I." And I cut off as my lips crashed on his.

It was wonderful, bliss clouded my thoughts and all I could think of was him. Just mind blowing pleasure. No regret. Just pure unbridled desire. He kissed back fiercely, begging for more of me. One hand was in my hair, the other was on my face caressing each and every scar. "So beautiful" I heard him murmur and I opened my mouth, sliding my tongue over his. I sucked and bit on his lip hungrily, trying like hell to remove his robes. He seemed to notice and with one flick of his wand- his robes were gone, along with his shirt.

"Thanks." I mumbled, kissing his lips once more. For so long I'd dreamed of doing this and know I was. I had him. I moaned into his mouth as his hand grazed my erection. Gods. Pleasure erupted through my body. I pressed myself closer, bringing us chest to chest, our throbbing members touching. It was pure bliss.

"Wait, wait." Severus stopped me, taking my face in his hands. His lips were swollen and shiny with my saliva and his hair looked like he'd just been attacked. I smiled, I could only imagine what I looked like right now. He looked deep into my eyes and I nearly lost myself in his.

"Remus, I think I love you. No, I do love you." he whimpered.

"Like hell you do!!" We both turned around, Severus placing a protective arm around my bare chest. My heart dropped. James and Sirius stood there, both their wands pointing at Severus.


	3. Chapter 3

It was half past five when we finally emerged from the Whomping Willow. The cold morning wind hit my face and I inhaled deeply. The cool air smelled like wet grass. It was hard to stay tired on a morning like this.

I rubbed my eyes, realizing I'd have bags later. "Merlin, I need to get more sleep." I muttered as we trudged up the hill towards the school. Sirius laughed (which sounded more like a bark) and flashed that smile I love, sending my heart into a frenzy. He was saying something about my "beauty sleep" but I could pay attention. He was too beautiful for words.

We walked up the stairs to the common room and I pitch his bum while Peter wasn't looking, causing him to burst into a fit of giggles. "What's so bloody funny?" Peter asked, crankily. He really didn't like our little midnight escapades but seeing as we're his only friends he couldn't really complain.

"Oh nothing. Why don't you go to bed? James and I are headed to the library." Sirius said.

Peter raised an eyebrow and I turned away, stifling a laugh. Sirius stomped on my foot.

"Slughorn's essay, remember?" he said.

"Oh yeah. Gods, you're lazy, I finished that ages ago." He turned and walked away and I nearly passed out from holding in giggles. Merlin, he was thick. Why in the hell would the library be open at five in the morning. And furthermore why would the schools biggest troublemakers be concerned enough to care about a stupid essay. Honestly, sometimes I wondered how he managed to walk and breathe at the same time. We waited until his footsteps faded before walking to Remus' room. Lucky for us Remus was Head Boy which meant a private bedroom. Of course, he didn't know about his little meeting but what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

We walked quickly, our footsteps sounding enormous in the quiet hallway. Weak morning light crept through the window. It painted the hallways in a strangely innocent aura. Suddenly the thought of getting caught was the last thing on my mind.

"Seriously though, fancy I might borrow your test?" Sirius asked, as we reached the door to Remus' room.

"Sure, love." I threw him my best good boy smile, as I said the password. He smiled back, but he didn't mean it. His dark eyes were cold. Guess we wouldn't be sleeping together after all.

I held the door and he slipped inside briskly, ignoring my new attempt at flirtation. He unloaded his bag and promptly sat at Remus' desk.

"Not coming to join me?" I sighed removing my robes. No answer. I removed my shirt. "Hmm..?" He ignored me.

He pulled my essay out and began to read intensely. He hunched over his work as if hiding himself from me. He was still angry from this morning. His hair was a black curtain around his face. It reminded me a bit of Snape but it was so much more adorable.

"Look if this is about Lily, I-"

His fist slammed the mahogany desk. His fingers were clenched so tight they were white. "I don't care about you and that red headed whore. Do whatever you want."

"It's only a dance." I yelled defensively. How many times did we have to talk about this?

"That's right. It is only a dance. A dance that you couldn't possibly bring me to"

That hurt. I could tell from his voice he was frowning and….and crying. But it was more than that. My stomach was a hot mound of cement at the bottom of my gut. My mouth was dry. It was the way he spat it out at me…it just sounded so mean.

What was I supposed to do? I couldn't bring him to the dance. I mean, sure he could come…attend. He'd be there…but not as my date. It just couldn't happen. Things were going great. My marks were perfect in every class (for once). And my Quidditch career. Well it wasn't a career yet….but it could be. Right? I can risk it over something as.... juvenile as a dance. Couldn't Sirius understand that?

I felt a tear slide down my hot cheek. "Fine." I turned over, pulling the covers over my head. The heat was nearly unbearable but this way he couldn't see my tears. Or hear me struggle to keep from sobbing.

Sssssssssssssssssssssssss

"You really are a great dancer. But then again that's to be expected from the school's best seeker." Lily's arms, already dangling gracefully around my neck, tightened pulling me closer.

Looking down at her I could see the many tiny red hairs that made up her eyebrows. I inhaled, enjoying a faint whiff of perfume. It was Lavender. Though the ballroom was crowded, it felt as though it was just her and I."

"Thanks. You're pretty good yourself." The comment seemed pretty lame but she laughed anyway. I glanced down at her and felt my cheeks burn. Her eyes were great green pools. She was easily the prettiest girl in school.

As if she'd read my mind, she drew closer. I felt her head lay against my shoulder and my heart sped up. "I know I haven't always been nice but you really aren't so bad, James. In fact I think I like you."

I smirked in spite of my nervousness. "Like me?"

"Mmm-hm…"she giggled. I felt her chest vibrate against mine. "What I mean to say is: Would you like to come to my room tonight?"

My voice hitched in my throat. I liked Sirius maybe even loved him, but I wasn't completely blind to pretty girls. This was Lily Potter. And here she was inviting me to her room.

"Of course, I wil-"

"So it's true. You do fancy Sirius. And here I thought it was just my imagination."

I looked up. Lucius was standing there. He leered greedily, his hands on his hips. Everyone was staring at me. Some were even whispering behind their hands.

"Eternal fairies: Potter and black!" some yells. The room burst with laughter. I looked down. Lily's red hair had been replaced by a shaggy mass of black curls. Her silky smooth arms, though still around his neck, were robed. He was dancing with Sirius.

Horrified he pushed Sirius away. He stumbled into Lucius, who snarled nastily and pushed him back. Now I could feel the whole room staring. I spotted Dumbledore whispering to Slughorn. He both laughed, heartily. "What's wrong?" Sirius whined. "Don't you love me anymore?" The air exploded with laughter.

"No, no it's not true….

Sssssssssssssssssssssssss

Someone was shaking me. "Wake up" Slowly my vision returned. It was Sirius standing over me.

I recoiled sharply. Sirius didn't seem to notice or if he did he didn't care. He tossed me my shirt. "Come on. We have to bring Moony his uniform. He ripped through his pretty good last night."

I nodded. I pulled on my clothes, grabbed my books and we left.

The walk to the Whomping Willow was miserable. Neither of us met the others eye; neither of us wanted to. It felt as if everyone was staring at us with secret little smiles, each telling their own secrets. My cheeks were burning with embarrassment. Relief washed over me when I finally reach the room we left him in. My hand closed around door handle by Sirius stopped me.

We could hear Remus talking to someone. And not just anyone. It was Snape. I glanced at Sirius. His mouth hung open in dumb surprise. I pulled out my wand and he followed suit. I pushed the door ajar quietly.

They were naked. And in a bed. But the real problem was Remus. The way he was looking at Snape was more than shocking. The adoration there was….unreal. I'd never seen that look on anyone except…except on Sirius.

"-I think I love you. No, I do love you." My stomach dropped.

"Like hell you do!" My heart pulsed angrily and I threw the door open. The door slammed against the door. They both jumped up in bed. Snape's pale arm lay across Remus' chest protectively. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears.

"Get away from him, Snivellous." I spat.

I saw his fingers tighten around his wand but Remus stopped him. Sirius lowered his wand a little bit but I kept mine trained on Severus.

"Look, I can explain…." Remus stuttered.

"You don't need to explain anything!" Snape spat.

I laughed. "Explain what? How you let this greasy mutt trick you into bed with him?"

"He didn't trick me into anything! I ….this is my decision." His voice faltered. I looked over at Sirius. His wand was down at his side. In fact he didn't even look mad anymore.

"Don't have something to say!" I yelled. He just stared at me. I looked at Remus. "Have you lost it? I can't even explain how disgusted I am."

Anger flashed across his hazel eyes. It was a bit scary. I'd never seen him look that way before. Snape tried to caress his arm but he pulled away. He jumped out of the bed angrily. As it turned out he wasn't naked after all. He was wearing a pair of Slytherin pajama bottoms. I felt like vomiting. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know what I mean." I said, coldly.

"And what about you and Sirius, hmm?" My mouth fell open. "Yeah I know about you two. I found out last month, after I walked in on the two of you…in my bed."

I was frozen. Everything was. Sirius peered shamefully through his lashes. Snape just stared shocked at the both of us, his black eyes wide with surprise.

Before I knew it. I was shaking my head, backing towards the door. I could feel their stares closing in on me. Blood was pulsing in my ears; suddenly everything felts so far away. "There's nothing going on between us." I heard myself say. My voice sounded scared….so weak. I didn't like it. Sirius looked at me. I caught his gaze and my cheeks burned with shame. He was crying. "There's never been anything between us." I lied. And before anyone could answer I turned and left.


End file.
